For many, going solo can be a terrifying endeavor. Especially if you are a woman.
However, I did not let this get in my way.
My life used to be filled with much unnecessary anxiety about going solo. Not just in the outdoors sense, but in the everyday sense. I could not go to a store alone, go out to eat alone, or really do anything. It wasnt that I was scared something would happen to me, I was just uncomfortable with being alone. Due to this, I missed out on many of life’s opportunities. I was not doing the things I wanted to be doing. My happiness depends on whether others would join me.
I have always loved the outdoors but it got to the point where I would not go to the beach if my sister or friends would not come with me. I would not go on hikes if my dad said he was busy. I just, in reality, did not do anything that brought me intrinsic joy, because it did not fit into my friends and families schedules and lifes.
It was not until I reached a point where I was sick of not living, that I started to live. I made a promise to myself that I would do what made me happy. I promised myself my happiness would no longer be determined by others' schedules. I decided I would fully spend life and see where it took me.
I was not going to let anyone stop me from making my dreams come true. I am in control of my own life and have the ability to choose which paths to take. My mantra for life became doing whatever the heck I wanted and going where I felt most alive. Living by this has made life so much more spontaneous and fulfilling.
Through this, I have learned to grow comfortable with myself, but I was only able to do this by spending more time alone. Doing things alone is not only empowering, it allows us to grow comfortable with ourselves and being alone in our own heads. One of the hardest skills to learn in my opinion is, oddly, being alone. In a world full of so many people, it is often hard to escape and find time for yourself. By setting aside time and doing things when and how you want to do them, you not only become more independent, you become confident and steadfast in yourself. I never let anyone tell me that it was too dangerous or embodied their fears. I put full faith in myself and trusted that things would work out how they were meant to.
If I never had made this mindset shift, I would have never completed the JMT or gone on solo trips up to the Sierra, Mt Laguna, Mt Langley, Mt Whitney, sectioned sections of the PCT, had dinners at the beach, read in trees overlooking the city skyline, gone to coffee shops and read, had photo shoots on the top of buildings and oh so much more.
My core memories are now built upon the times I have spent alone. I find solace in myself.
I go solo not because I have to, but because I want to. I gain so much more from being alone than I do from being with others.